I haven't posted for a long time because I've felt that I haven't anything really worthwhile to contribute.
I've had a shite year, full of stress, poor mental wellbeing and physical sickness - who the fuck gets gout at 27?! I mean seriously?!
I feel like nothing is clicking in my life, and I know a large part of it is down to me. Nothing is going my way so my head's dropped and I'm not chasing things because I'm approaching them from a profoundly negative "nothing goes my way this won't either why bother" attitude. I don't feel the enthusiasm or motivation I should to escape from this rut at this point.
As such I haven't felt like I've had anything to contribute. Throughout my life I've been fighting the idea that's seemingly from nowhere tattooed on my psyche that "I'm nothing special" and this year hasn't been great in terms of that battle. Maybe getting this off my chest is the first step to getting back to being myself.
I've gotten out of this rut before, but it doesn't make the climb any easier.
Look after yourselves.
Fuck it and fight it.
X
