I don't like moaning about my mental health but I need a rant.
Things appeared to be going alright for a while, and instead of enjoying I spent a lot of the time worrying, waiting for things to go wrong.
Well fuck me have they gone wrong.
I've burned myself out, big time. For the first time in my life I've been signed off. Things that aren't worth getting annoyed at enrage me beyond reason. There are external factors at work too but I can't do a lot to stop them. My anxiety and depression feel like they are through the roof at times.
I'm worrying that I'm falling into that same old pit I found myself in for almost two years. Some days I feel I'm in it, others like I'm circling it.
I'm fed up with being so irritable. With not finding enjoyment in old hobbies. With constantly feeling like I'm shite. I'm fed up with feeling like a crap friend, boyfriend, workmate etc. I'm fed up with feeling like I'm failing and can't prevent it. I'm fed up with feeling these things when deep down I know they're not true because unfortunately the voice reminding me of that fact is much quieter than the one telling me I'm shite.
I am fucking sick of being mentally ill.
Fuck it and fight it.
