From 6th March 2018.
“What makes a man, without hope, cling to a few more minutes of existence?” ― Graham Greene, The Third Man
This quote popped up on my Facebook earlier on, it seems to have become a bit more pertinent as the night has gone on.
As anyone who has been subjected to my recent posts can probably tell I'm not in the best of places just now headwise. I'm angry. I'm frustrated. I'm agitated. On a number if levels I'm done. Done with being so far from my family and my oldest friends. Done with living in a city I am not overly fond of. Done with being shat upon by those higher up than myself. "Oh it's a fact of life that you're shat upon." That doesn't mean you have to accept it.
Perhaps unsurprisingly given my shite mood and no sign of a change on the horizon I've fallen into a depression again. I felt it tonight lying in bed. I've felt it try to claw away at my chest like it used to and this time I've just laughed. Because I know I'm going to beat it. I beat it last year in far worse circumstances than this. Last year I was a man without hope, and I clung on. This year I don't just have hope, I have determination and a fire burning inside as well. And the love and support of some truly beautiful people. 🖤
What makes a man, without hope, cling to a few more minutes of existence? Love. Love for friends, love for family, love for the people that make our journeys worth it even in the torrential downpours.
Fuck it and fight it 🖕
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